Kid's say the darnedest things

Ya know I don't see my family much. Not because they live far away or anything like that just because I'm always busy with school or friends. Well this weekend I went to my grandmother's house and had dinner with aunts, uncles, and cousins and it was actually kinda fun. See I'm not the most talkative when I'm around people I don't know as well. Now I know what you're thinking "they're your family how can you not know them that well?" Well after my mother got remarried and we moved I don't see them that much and some of the newer members I have only met a hand full of times. This time I sat quietly and didn't really say much just listened and felt kinda awkward. I had fun though my grandma told me stories about when I was a little girl and she would babysit me during the week while my mom was at work. This was before I was old enough to go to school and then when I started to go to preschool my grandma was one of the preschool teachers. I was a sheltered child in some aspects because until I was old enough to watch myself I was only ever babysat by family or really close friends there's only one time my mom can remember hiring a babysitter.

So I spent a lot of time with my grandma when I was younger and I remember making cookies and sitting and watching her play Tetris on her Nintendo. We had fun. Well she was talking about how I used to love to wash the dishes. I'd stand on my little stool for hours just washing the dishes and rewashing them apparently. I vaguely remember that and you know what's crazy? After we got a dishwasher I hated doing the dishes I'd much rather wash them by hand. I'm weird when it comes to dishes. I don't mind loading the dishwasher but I hate unloading it (especially if someone else loads it because they always do it wrong) and it's the same when I wash dishes by hand I don't mind washing them and putting them in the dish dryer (or what ever the little thing is called) but I hate putting them away. I'm kinda the same way with my laundry. When I get around to doing it I don't mind the washing and drying but I don't like folding and putting it on hangers. I usually just live out of my laundry basket. Grandma also told stories about how when they got their house re-carpeted and they had a roll of carpet on the stairs and I spent all day climbing the stairs and sliding down it. I remember that. I wore through a brand new pair of paint's that day.

Yeah got off track there sorry. Well my uncle was running around and his kid and some of my other cousins were just following him like a little trail of ducklings (all the kids where about 3-5 years old) and my aunt commented on how cute it was. Grandma said he's always been that way with all the grand kids and was telling stories about some of the things I had said to him when I was younger. It's funny cause he only has one kid who's he's about 4 so while I was growing up with all the cousins closer to my age he had no kids and apparently he was the favorite uncle. According to my grandma I worshiped him when I was little and it makes sense he and I share the same birthday. A few years ago he threatened to forget my birthday because I didn't say hi to him and then he accused me of stealing his birthday. Ya know because it was my fault. But yeah so I worshiped this man when I was a child. Well I didn't worship him all the time. One time my grandma was asking me to do something (when I was little she called me peanut) so she said "Peanut will you do ....(she doesn't remember what she asked me to do)" my uncle said "no I wont" (she must have called him peanut too when he was younger) Well I got really mad at him and in a very stern voice (as stern as a 3 or 4 year old can get) said "I am grandmas peanut. Not you." When grandma told this story everyone laughed and then she told an even better one (the only reason for this post is so I can tell this story)

Have you ever seen that show kids say the darnedest things well I can guarantee that I said some pretty interesting things as a child. One time I called kittens "cute little bastards" I didn't know what the word meant. Well apparently the uncle that I worshiped got called something even better. He was doing something or saying something and I said to him "Don't be dickless" I was trying to say ridiculous. I had never heard this story before and I couldn't stop laughing when my grandma finished telling us about it. I wish someone had gotten it on camera I mean come one AFV man.

Blah

I don't want to be a girl today. I'm pretty sure no one reads my blog so I'm going to write about PMS. Most of the time I don't mind being a girl I actually like it but some days I just wish I didn't have to deal with it. Normally when I'm menstruating I get terrible cramps and I get really moody (only with my mother and my roommates though) and I have to say after eight or so years of this I'm pretty used to it ya know? But this month was completely different NO cramps I thought I was in heaven. I wasn't in pain and I didn't feel bloated I wasn't even moody. Well that was yesterday. I don't know what happened but for some reason I have been extremely irritable today. I was fine this morning a little tired but pretty content and then I had to do a presentation on the cadavers (which I like doing) and one of the other girls in our group went over some of the stuff that I was supposed to cover which left me with less things to go over and it made me look like a slacker to our teacher. I don't think she did it on purpose but it really irritated me because the same thing happened last time we presented and I'm pretty sure my teacher thinks I'm lazy and don't even try in his class. Now most people would be happy about having to do less work but still I'm not lazy and I don't like when we agree on something and then they change it without telling me. I suppose it is partially my fault I kinda separated myself from our group (I don't like working with other people if you haven't noticed yet) and so they probably don't even notice when I'm being ignored or left out of things.

Well that was what set me off and then I had to spend the rest of class stewing over it and then add the smell of formaldehyde and latex that won't come off of your hands no matter how many times you wash them and yeah. I was not happy. The day just seemed to get worse because I had to go home and study for an anatomy test (which I totally bombed by the way) and my roommates had made PVC pipe guns and bought Nerf darts and were shooting them all over. I had to make some serious threats to keep them from shooting me. I was not in the mood to be shot.

The weird thing was I snapped at my roommate's sisters (who are visiting for the week. We're all friends so I wasn't snapping at people I don't know) more than I snapped at my roommates I hardly ever get irritated with my friends when I'm on my period I only get ornery with people that I'm really close to because I know that they still love me when it's over (translated I get ornery with my mother, my sister, Boss, and sometimes our other roommate "That"). It's probably because they (my roommates sisters) were the ones shooting the guns and one of them did shoot me (I did follow through with my threat). I try not to get angry with people especially when they don't deserve it and I feel bad about being so irritable with them.

I think it must be a combination of PMS, not enough sleep, and stress from school (you know it's really stressful when your brain explodes while your studying the nervous system for a test and the circulatory system for a presentation and working on a research paper about medical examiners)

There I just needed to vent and the Internet is always a good listener.

Prosthetics

So it's been about a month I figured I would post something.

Remember a few months ago when we had a male friend crash on our couch even though we have rules about not letting members of the opposite sex stay the night. Well he is visiting again but this time he's staying at "27's" place. Last time we let him stay because it was just a couple nights and he didn't really know 27 or his roommates but this time he's here for a week and we didn't want to push our luck and try to get away with harboring a male in our apartment for that long. He's at our apartment from about 8-9 a.m. till about 11-12 p.m./a.m. and he stays the night at 27's apartment. Well tonight he was over and we were just goofing around and shooting at each other with Nerf guns and Boss's sister shot (lets call him "Teach" cause he's a sixth grade teacher) Teach in the chest. It just bounced off his chest and he made a comment about being superman.

Teach: "See it just bounces off cause I'm cool like that"

Boss: "Aim a little lower sis" and we all giggled.

Teach: "No it'll just bounce off of there" we giggled a little more.

Boss's sis: "Oh really?"

Teach: "Yeah like *ping*" referring to how bullets just bounce off of superman.

Me: "So you have a prosthetic?" that got everyone laughing.

After that we got into a long discussion about how useless a prosthetic penis would be I mean what would you do with it, how would you use it? Just food for thought.

Just thought I would share that funny story with all of the people who don't read my blog. If anyone did read it I hope you enjoyed it. Now you'll be wondering how a prosthetic penis might work.