Adventures with weirdos online

Ok last year I joined an online dating site because my roommates were and I didn't want to be left out. We weren't really looking for dates we just wanted to meet new people ya know? So every once in a while I'll get an email saying that I have a message from "Screen name" so I'll go and check it out. Most of the messages are the standard "hi" or something like it. Every once in a while I'll even have an interesting conversation with the guy.
           But every so often I'll get a "winner". The first "winner" was some 40+ year old (that's twice my age just in case you were wondering) and he was telling me I looked cute or something like that. Ok I'll admit if he had been closer to my age I probably wouldn't have found anything wrong with it but come on the dude's old enough to be my dad. In fact I think he was actually older than my dad. So yeah weirdo! The second one (I still have his message in my inbox because I couldn't believe it)

Him: "Are you looking for a make out buddy at all?"

Me: " no not really"

Him: "okay. i just think you are cute and think it would be fun to have a friend to hang out with and kiss"

Me: "OH . . ." I didn't know what to say I mean nobody has ever asked me to make out before. Especially not a total stranger.

Him: "yeah. so i guess let me know if you are ever interested."

           Then not long after him there was another one and I still have his message for the same reason.

Him: "Yes u seem amazing look Beautiful"

Me: "thank you" (I'm working on taking compliments and not just shrugging them off like I used to)

Him: "Yes u like guys with abs"

Me: "Sure . . ." Another I don't really know what to say indecent.

Him: "Good cause I have 6 pack" And that's where the conversation ended.

           Another good one (I don't still have this conversation) but he decided to tell me all about how he and his pregnant girlfriend were breaking up or something along those lines. Honestly? I don't really care I'm not on a dating site to meet guys with that much baggage.

            But the one that takes the cake was the message I got tonight. I had to text my best friend and tell her about it and she was just as confused and speechless as I was. This message is the whole reason why I decided to write this post. So without further adieu

"have you ever had your feet worshiped? I have a huge foot fetish and I would love to if you let me, you are gorgeous!"

I just don't get it, is there something about me that indicates that I like weird messages?
         For the privacy of others I haven't mentioned which dating site this was on and I didn't mention any names or screen names. Just so that's all cleared.
           This just strengthen my desire to go on a dating hiatus for a year and a half so I can serve the Lord. Maybe when I'm done there will be some semi-normal males who are actually willing to talk to me.

life sucks some days

So it's Homecoming week again and just like every year before I'm sitting home alone on my computer while my roommates go out and have fun at the dance. My best friend said we should go even if we don't have dates and I was totally for it and then she got invited to a thing with her sisters and decided to go stay with them for the weekend. She abandoned me and I didn't want to go to the dance by myself or with my other roommates who had dates cause that would just be awkward ya know? I don't think I'll ever get over my intense dislike for this particular school event. I didn't cry about it today though so I'm very proud of myself. I did cry yesterday but  that was a combination of Homecoming week, PMS, stress, and a bunch of other things. It's just not a good week. Maybe it's the hormones but I really want to cry. I thought I did all my crying yesterday but apparently not, and yesterday was particularly bad. I was playing sudoku in my history class while I waited for class to start and I almost started crying. I swear when I'm PMSing it's like my emotions are attached to a switch. One minute I'll be fine and then the next I'll be weeping uncontrollably. It also didn't help that my teacher decided to talk about Homecoming and then my roommates friend wrote a cute song to ask her to the dance. I know the saying "you don't need a man to be happy" and most of the time I live by it because lets face it my dating life is pathetic at best, but on nights like this It's extremely hard to believe it. Not even my uplifting playlist is helping. And you know when you constantly have people telling you "Maybe if you were more outgoing you would meet more guys" it doesn't make it better. I'm already in a hopeless battle with my self esteem. Constantly telling myself that there's something wrong with me, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not skinny enough, I don't smile enough, My fashion sense leaves something to be desired, I'm not athletic, my personality must be lacking, etc. So when people tell me to change something about myself, like the fact that I'm painfully shy around people I don't know, it doesn't help promote the "be yourself" attitude that's being plastered all over the internet these days.  

I just wanted to talk about it and I don't want to talk to people I know because they'll tell me that I am pretty and smart and I don't need to worry about dating, or that I should be more outgoing if it bothers me because you know "girls CAN ask guys out too." I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. Do they not remember the "Painfully shy" part or do they just think it's me being overly dramatic.

Well like the title says life sucks some days.

Glow in the dark goo and trips to the zoo

I have decided that I am going to be a soccer mom. I have always wanted to have children but I also wanted to have a career, ya know? Well after taking a nanny job over the summer I realized that I absolutely love the idea of being a stay at home mom. It's not always fun. Little kids require a lot of attention and they seem to have a never ending source of energy. I find that after seven hours I'm exhausted but I love it.

I took the kids to the zoo today after they got done with swimming lessons and even thought I hardly got to see anything except children (I was constantly doing a head count because I wouldn't want to lose one of them) I had a lot of fun. Tomorrow we're going to Lagoon after swimming lessons. It's just fun. I'm finding a lot of cool projects for the kids like making our own goo that glows in the dark! And I cant wait to see how much fun they have with it.

I never thought I'd say this but I want it all. The minnivan, the soccer/baseball/football/softball/whatever games, the piano lessons, swimming lessons, coloring, finger painting, story telling, macaroni glued to a paper, cutting crust off sandwiches, etc. I can already picture taking my kids to the zoo with my best friend and her munchkins and I want it so bad. I'll even take the times when I'm forced into watching "Dora the Explorer" and stepping on the Legos spread across the floor.

so this is rock bottom?

I think I've finally hit rock bottom in dating.
It's quite depressing really. I always see wedding announcements on FB from high school friends even girls who are younger than me are getting married. Then my roommates convinced me to join a dating web site. All that has gotten me is a lot of weirdos and one guy looking for a "make out buddy" his words. My mother is still set on me marrying the neighbor in five years (He's finally a senior in high school). She has compromised a little though. If I can find a husband this year she'll call of the arrangement. She enlisted my roommates to find her a son-in-law and they seem very willing. School hasn't even started and they're already planning on dragging me to every dance and having parties with all of their guy friends and their brothers.

I'm not sure how I feel about having my roommates set me up. Not that they have bad taste in guys but most of the guys they know are jocks. There's nothing wrong with jocks I just don't have anything in common with them. I'm kinda a geek and I recently decided that I needed to marry a fellow geek. After expressing my concerns, my step dad told me to go onto a geek website and post
             
 "Hi I'm looking for a guy to teach me how to play Magic. My dad has a bunch of cards to make              
  decks with and he'll let you have them if you help me."
So apparently it's come to bribing them to date me. I don't know how it gets any worse than this.

I do have some goals thought and if I write them down I might stick to them. My  mother told me that my goal this year is to at leas go on a second date.

Kismet or something like it

Have you ever had a time in your life where everything just seems to be falling apart? A time when it seems like you're at a crossroads and you have no idea where you're going but you cant go back the way you came? Well I was there just a few weeks ago and let me tell you it wasn't fun. I kinda felt lost and it totally freaked me out, well it would have freaked me out if I hadn't chosen to ignore it completely and hope that it would go away on it's own.
I was just finishing up my second year of college and if you've ever been in college you know how the end of the year goes. It's stressful and by the end of finals week you're lucky if you haven't pulled all of your hair out. So you see I was pretty occupied with school but there were a lot of other things that I needed to take care of and I just kept putting them off.
1. I needed to get an application for housing for next year.
2. I needed to find a job for the summer.
3. I had to sign up for classes.
4. I needed to pack.
Now I know that that doesn't seem like a lot. And it's really not but there were other things that I had to take into consideration. Number one for example: It's not hard getting an application from my apartment building and filling it out but the problem was that all of my roommates were graduating and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in an apartment next year with 5 new girls. I got lucky the first time and then we all agreed to be roommates again the next year. I didn't want to try my luck again. Plus I was planning on graduating after fall semester and in my building they charge extra if you're only going to be there for one semester.
Well my apartment problem pretty much solved it's self. I chose to go for a walk and for some reason I decided not to walk the way I normally go and as I was walking I ran into some cousins who where looking into housing. I didn't even know that they were going to go to school there and all of the sudden their asking me if I know where I'm living next year. We've looked  into a few houses to rent and we have a few more girls (two of my old roommates and another cousin) who want to live with us as well. It worked out perfectly. I don't have to live in an apartment and I get to live with people I know.
Now number two: I don't know about anyone else but I have never really had much luck looking for a job. Well technically I have only ever had one job and I got it because of my friend. I also had some other obligations this summer that would require me taking off a week in June. So I wasn't sure if I would be able to find a job. My friend suggested making a profile on a few job sites so I did. Within a week or so I got a message from a woman on a child care website. She was looking for a summer babysitter and it just seemed to work out perfectly. The hours she had in mind are perfect, I don't have to work weekends and she's totally cool with me taking a week off.

Looking back I realized that when things got hectic, by choosing to remain calm and focus on one thing at a time (Studying) everything else seemed to fall into place perfectly. Now if I could somehow figure out how to make that work with dating.

Kid's say the darnedest things

Ya know I don't see my family much. Not because they live far away or anything like that just because I'm always busy with school or friends. Well this weekend I went to my grandmother's house and had dinner with aunts, uncles, and cousins and it was actually kinda fun. See I'm not the most talkative when I'm around people I don't know as well. Now I know what you're thinking "they're your family how can you not know them that well?" Well after my mother got remarried and we moved I don't see them that much and some of the newer members I have only met a hand full of times. This time I sat quietly and didn't really say much just listened and felt kinda awkward. I had fun though my grandma told me stories about when I was a little girl and she would babysit me during the week while my mom was at work. This was before I was old enough to go to school and then when I started to go to preschool my grandma was one of the preschool teachers. I was a sheltered child in some aspects because until I was old enough to watch myself I was only ever babysat by family or really close friends there's only one time my mom can remember hiring a babysitter.

So I spent a lot of time with my grandma when I was younger and I remember making cookies and sitting and watching her play Tetris on her Nintendo. We had fun. Well she was talking about how I used to love to wash the dishes. I'd stand on my little stool for hours just washing the dishes and rewashing them apparently. I vaguely remember that and you know what's crazy? After we got a dishwasher I hated doing the dishes I'd much rather wash them by hand. I'm weird when it comes to dishes. I don't mind loading the dishwasher but I hate unloading it (especially if someone else loads it because they always do it wrong) and it's the same when I wash dishes by hand I don't mind washing them and putting them in the dish dryer (or what ever the little thing is called) but I hate putting them away. I'm kinda the same way with my laundry. When I get around to doing it I don't mind the washing and drying but I don't like folding and putting it on hangers. I usually just live out of my laundry basket. Grandma also told stories about how when they got their house re-carpeted and they had a roll of carpet on the stairs and I spent all day climbing the stairs and sliding down it. I remember that. I wore through a brand new pair of paint's that day.

Yeah got off track there sorry. Well my uncle was running around and his kid and some of my other cousins were just following him like a little trail of ducklings (all the kids where about 3-5 years old) and my aunt commented on how cute it was. Grandma said he's always been that way with all the grand kids and was telling stories about some of the things I had said to him when I was younger. It's funny cause he only has one kid who's he's about 4 so while I was growing up with all the cousins closer to my age he had no kids and apparently he was the favorite uncle. According to my grandma I worshiped him when I was little and it makes sense he and I share the same birthday. A few years ago he threatened to forget my birthday because I didn't say hi to him and then he accused me of stealing his birthday. Ya know because it was my fault. But yeah so I worshiped this man when I was a child. Well I didn't worship him all the time. One time my grandma was asking me to do something (when I was little she called me peanut) so she said "Peanut will you do ....(she doesn't remember what she asked me to do)" my uncle said "no I wont" (she must have called him peanut too when he was younger) Well I got really mad at him and in a very stern voice (as stern as a 3 or 4 year old can get) said "I am grandmas peanut. Not you." When grandma told this story everyone laughed and then she told an even better one (the only reason for this post is so I can tell this story)

Have you ever seen that show kids say the darnedest things well I can guarantee that I said some pretty interesting things as a child. One time I called kittens "cute little bastards" I didn't know what the word meant. Well apparently the uncle that I worshiped got called something even better. He was doing something or saying something and I said to him "Don't be dickless" I was trying to say ridiculous. I had never heard this story before and I couldn't stop laughing when my grandma finished telling us about it. I wish someone had gotten it on camera I mean come one AFV man.

Blah

I don't want to be a girl today. I'm pretty sure no one reads my blog so I'm going to write about PMS. Most of the time I don't mind being a girl I actually like it but some days I just wish I didn't have to deal with it. Normally when I'm menstruating I get terrible cramps and I get really moody (only with my mother and my roommates though) and I have to say after eight or so years of this I'm pretty used to it ya know? But this month was completely different NO cramps I thought I was in heaven. I wasn't in pain and I didn't feel bloated I wasn't even moody. Well that was yesterday. I don't know what happened but for some reason I have been extremely irritable today. I was fine this morning a little tired but pretty content and then I had to do a presentation on the cadavers (which I like doing) and one of the other girls in our group went over some of the stuff that I was supposed to cover which left me with less things to go over and it made me look like a slacker to our teacher. I don't think she did it on purpose but it really irritated me because the same thing happened last time we presented and I'm pretty sure my teacher thinks I'm lazy and don't even try in his class. Now most people would be happy about having to do less work but still I'm not lazy and I don't like when we agree on something and then they change it without telling me. I suppose it is partially my fault I kinda separated myself from our group (I don't like working with other people if you haven't noticed yet) and so they probably don't even notice when I'm being ignored or left out of things.

Well that was what set me off and then I had to spend the rest of class stewing over it and then add the smell of formaldehyde and latex that won't come off of your hands no matter how many times you wash them and yeah. I was not happy. The day just seemed to get worse because I had to go home and study for an anatomy test (which I totally bombed by the way) and my roommates had made PVC pipe guns and bought Nerf darts and were shooting them all over. I had to make some serious threats to keep them from shooting me. I was not in the mood to be shot.

The weird thing was I snapped at my roommate's sisters (who are visiting for the week. We're all friends so I wasn't snapping at people I don't know) more than I snapped at my roommates I hardly ever get irritated with my friends when I'm on my period I only get ornery with people that I'm really close to because I know that they still love me when it's over (translated I get ornery with my mother, my sister, Boss, and sometimes our other roommate "That"). It's probably because they (my roommates sisters) were the ones shooting the guns and one of them did shoot me (I did follow through with my threat). I try not to get angry with people especially when they don't deserve it and I feel bad about being so irritable with them.

I think it must be a combination of PMS, not enough sleep, and stress from school (you know it's really stressful when your brain explodes while your studying the nervous system for a test and the circulatory system for a presentation and working on a research paper about medical examiners)

There I just needed to vent and the Internet is always a good listener.

Prosthetics

So it's been about a month I figured I would post something.

Remember a few months ago when we had a male friend crash on our couch even though we have rules about not letting members of the opposite sex stay the night. Well he is visiting again but this time he's staying at "27's" place. Last time we let him stay because it was just a couple nights and he didn't really know 27 or his roommates but this time he's here for a week and we didn't want to push our luck and try to get away with harboring a male in our apartment for that long. He's at our apartment from about 8-9 a.m. till about 11-12 p.m./a.m. and he stays the night at 27's apartment. Well tonight he was over and we were just goofing around and shooting at each other with Nerf guns and Boss's sister shot (lets call him "Teach" cause he's a sixth grade teacher) Teach in the chest. It just bounced off his chest and he made a comment about being superman.

Teach: "See it just bounces off cause I'm cool like that"

Boss: "Aim a little lower sis" and we all giggled.

Teach: "No it'll just bounce off of there" we giggled a little more.

Boss's sis: "Oh really?"

Teach: "Yeah like *ping*" referring to how bullets just bounce off of superman.

Me: "So you have a prosthetic?" that got everyone laughing.

After that we got into a long discussion about how useless a prosthetic penis would be I mean what would you do with it, how would you use it? Just food for thought.

Just thought I would share that funny story with all of the people who don't read my blog. If anyone did read it I hope you enjoyed it. Now you'll be wondering how a prosthetic penis might work.

I think I'm broken

Just out of curiosity is it normal for people to say you sound like a young male child when you are in fact an adult female? Because if it's not there might be something wrong with me.

See I have this dilemma, every time I meet someone new they always assume that I'm older then I actually am (with the exception of one time last year when a guy thought I was 16) This has happened on many occasions. When I was 16 people told me that I looked like I was 19 or 20. I even got called ma'am by a guy, who had to be at least eight years older than I was, at the library (He was telling me I needed my drivers licence to get a library card so I called my mom so she could bring me my learners permit (I was 15) and when he saw my permit he was surprised at how young I was.) I also have a roommate "Boss" who is three years older than I am and she has a younger sister who is about a year older than I am. Her dad always assumed that I was older than Bosses younger sister (a few months ago he found out that I'm only 20).

So you see how this could be a potential problem? (If I were the drinking kind I probably wouldn't have a problem getting alcohol. I have been offered the wine list on multiple occasions at restaurants because I look old enough to be drinking)

I also have another dilemma. I have a high voice and often sound like a child. I get it form my mother (she still gets people on the phone asking if they can speak to a parent and she's 43)

This is one of the reasons why I hate listening to my voice on a recording (UGH horrible) I get people on the phone all the time

"How old are you?"

"20"

"You don't sound 20."

"Yeah I get that a lot."

Last year was the worst though we were watching Criminal Minds and there's a part where Hotch's son is talking and he was about 4 in this episode (cute little boy) well my roommate was in the other room and she came in and asked what I had just said (I hadn't said anything I was watching TV) She thought the little boy talking on the TV was me. So apparently I sound like a 4 year old little boy.

It happened again this year with a different roommate. I was being my usual dorky self and humming some nonsensical song as I was walking down the hall and my roommate said " Was that you?" I nodded "It sounded like there was a little boy singing in our hallway and I was confused because we don't have any little boys here." was her response.

I sound like a prepubescent male. I don't think that's normal. I am a 20 year old woman I should sound like a 20 year old woman, right?

Sorry this post has no point to it but then again how many of my posts do?

mind blown

Yeah it's been a while. See what happened was I became a hermit over the Christmas break. I practically locked myself in my room with my computer and pretty much blocked out the world. I only went somewhere if my parents were going. I didn't even think about blogging I read four books, watched a lot of you-tube, watched the entire first seasons of Raising Hope and Being Human, and I refused to think about life. After the break I had all my new classes and I had to get settled back into school again so that's why I haven't posted in over a month.

Well this'll probably be a long one.

I have recently decided that 29 hates me and this morning helped strengthen that belief. My roommate "Boss" and I were out scraping off our cars (horrible white stuff fell from the sky last night.) and 29 walked by and waved at me, the next thing I know he's helping Boss scrape off her car. I gave him a hard time about it later (I actually said something clever, that's a first. I said "Gosh 29 tell us who you love more") but I don't think he really payed attention. My roommate gets annoyed every time I say that he hates me. She keeps waiting for me to get over it like I did with the fact that I repel men. That's actually a pretty funny (or depressing) story.

So over the summer we were going to a singles ward and they had a lot of activities that Boss dragged me to. I didn't notice it at first but after a while it became quite obvious that every time she was talking to a guy if I walked over he would stop talking and then leave (and none of them would talk to me). I tried not to interrupt when she was talking to guys but it happened occasionally. It took me two months and a lot of reassuring (she asked some guys at work and they agreed with her that it wasn't me. Though I never saw any of them asking me out so...) to get over the fact that I apparently repel men. I still bring it up sometimes just to get a reaction out of her.

All right enough of that aspect of my sad love life.

So the semester's over and I still haven't figured out "front row weirdy" I didn't think I would ever really see him this semester but I have seen him three times. The first time was just out in front of our apartment building and I don't think he noticed me (he was doing something and I was getting in my car to leave). The second time I was walking with Boss to class and he was walking with a group of friends (I'm just assuming they were his friends) toward campus as well. He waved at me (totally never happened before) and boss was really confused because she didn't know him. I waved back and after he was gone I told Boss that he was "front row weirdy" (I actually used his name and she knew who I was talking about because I had talked about him before.) Then later on I started doubting that he was actually waving at me I'm still not convinced that there wasn't someone behind us that he knows. Boss keeps telling me that there was no one behind us and he was waving at me. The third time I saw him I was with some friends walking to class and he was across the street walking to the same building we were going to. I pointed him out to my friend (the same one that likes to set me up on dates) and told her that if she ever wanted to set me up on a date she should get to know him. The funny thing about that is I saw him a little while later at the little public speaking thing we went to and he was sitting in front of 29. I almost texted 29 and to tell him "See that boy in the blue shirt with glasses in front of you? I need you to become his friend" but I didn't want to be the creepy stalker. I was over my crush, or at least I thought I was until he waved at me. Now I don't know what to think. It's easy to get over a crush if you don't see the person ever but the semester just started and I've already seen him three times.

OK now for the mind blowing. We were over in apartment 27 talking to our friend (the friend from math class that I sat next to before I noticed "front row weirdy") We wanted to borrow a move and we haven't seen him for a while so we were just catching up and I made a comment about Boss marrying 29 (She's totally in love with him and he knows it. Right now were just waiting for him to say something) and our friend totally freaked me out. He said the last thing that I ever expected and it scared the crap out of me. He said " She's gonna marry 29? Just like your gonna marry the guy from our math class?" I was speechless for a second then I asked how he knew (I never told him and I didn't think I was that obvious) His response was " I have four sister, two older and two younger and no brothers I'm a little more observant when it comes to things like that" I just hope it wasn't as obvious to everyone else in my math class.

I really shouldn't go so long without posting. You'll probably hear from me when I'm sitting home by myself during the Valentines dance next month. It's guys choice and those never end in me getting asked.